50 Shades of Sh*t

22 Apr

I just completed the first book, Fifty Shades of Grey, of the trilogy by E L James.

Everyone is all abuzz about these books which are being called “mommy porn”.  (Even that phrase is totally annoying.) When we were in Florida I started chatting about it with a woman at the pool and she ended up giving me the book when she finished it.

I’m SO GLAD I DID NOT SPEND MONEY ON THIS TRASH.

The writing  is absolutely awful.

The characters are undeveloped and inconceivable. The dialogue is ridiculous, and the sex scenes try to be steamy but are ultimately yawn inducing.  It’s trying be provocative and shocking but it’s not.

The gorgeous 21 yr old main female character has never had any kind of sexual experience and there is no understanding or explanation as to why.   But then as soon as she starts having sex she is having orgasm after orgasm.

She has this annoying inner dialogue, referring to her “inner goddess”…about 553 times in the book.  She often says “holy cow! holy shit!”  Holy annoying!!!

The main male character gets all in a frenzy when this chick bites her lip…a habit that is referred to about 482 times in the book.

The dialogue (boring, sterile and uninspired) often starts with “Er….”.  Do you ever say “er” when you start to speak?  I didn’t think so.

I haven’t read the other two books and I don’t plan on it.

Have you read it?

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16 Responses to “50 Shades of Sh*t”

  1. elana April 22, 2012 at 9:19 pm #

    ooh i love that you didn’t care for it! i have not read it myself but i also think the phrase mommy porn is quite grotesque and unsettling as well as a bit condescending or presumptuous!

  2. Author MelindaTripp April 22, 2012 at 9:27 pm #

    I won’t bother taking a look, my list is already too full of things I MUST read!

  3. christina reen April 23, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    Being the woman in Florida who gave you the book, I warned you it was a piece of sh#t. You described the book perfectly…….I am just angry at my so called educated friends who didnt warn me.

  4. Baron Von Looksmann April 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

    The author lost any chance of me reading this when I read your comment “The gorgeous 21 yr old main female character has never been poked” What world would that happen in?

  5. alenaslife May 4, 2012 at 12:00 pm #

    Please, tell us how you really feel. :)
    Seriously, I have a hard time jumping on book bandwagons. When books are so hyped up (especially in a salacious/taboo way), I just figure I’ll be disappointed and I move on.

    • Barbara @ Just Another Manic Mommy May 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

      I have a problem holding back :) I do agree with you though and one of the reasons I wrote the post is that I am so tired of hearing all the buzz and seeing all the Facebook posts about it!

  6. Meredith May 31, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    I must not have liked this book, either, since I couldn’t get over the fact that although the main characters are U.S. Americans, they use quite of bit of British phraseology. The heroine was slightly more tolerable, however, than that whiny, sluking, if-I-can’t-have-him-or-turn-into-a-vampire-I-just-can’t-go-on Bella Swan.

    • Barbara @ Just Another Manic Mommy May 31, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

      Good call Mer and I agree about the phrases. Though Bella is completely annoying I somehow find her more tolerable….hey both of them are overplayed with the clumsiness too right?

  7. Samantha May 31, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

    I totally agree on the level of writing, however I did hear this was aimed at a younger audience and not seasoned book worms such as ourselves ;)
    With that being said, I had already been warned it was pretty crap writing. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
    There are annoying repetitions like you said which continue into book two, and I am sure the same for the last one. However even though I know it’s such a badly written book I am totally hooked on the characters and want to know what happens to them. Although it is getting kind of predictable now.
    I think for most of us women reading it, it’s total fantasy about a man who takes care of his woman in every conceivable manner. No matter how liberal you are there is a part in all of us who like the dominant male in the bedroom and out. This obviously just takes it to the extremes.
    I thought most of the sex scenes in the beginning were hot but as it goes on you lose that because there is so much of it and yes yawn yawn in places.
    Its a shame as it could have had the potential for being a good trilogy.

    • Barbara @ Just Another Manic Mommy May 31, 2012 at 8:28 pm #

      Thanks for your thoughts Sam. I do get where you are coming from!

      • Carolyn March 5, 2013 at 9:17 pm #

        Maybe I am too much of a therapist.. but I treat many people who are dominatrixs escorts etc and the ones into this lifestyle.. always have repressed or rageful sexual abuse pasts, that they just cant come to grips with and act out on other people.. ok I haven’t read this book but I am a bit perplexed why something based on a dynamic of power and control is so popular. I think it opens up a weird dynamic in the ethers that is so unhealthy. It is pretty obvious men love control.. that why porn is abillion dollar indrustry. Maybe I am just turned off with picking up the piece of unhealthy relationship dynamics that affect women and children through sterotypes and or perversion.

      • Barbara @ Just Another Manic Mommy March 6, 2013 at 1:19 pm #

        Bravo!!!!!!!! Love your commentary!

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